We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
