So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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