Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
