it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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