What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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