Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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