she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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