Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
