Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
