It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
