guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
