I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Of course I have a pirate flag
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
