you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
