i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
