so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
