Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
