apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We left the knife in your bed.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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