I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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