She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
