i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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