who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I bet he comes in French.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
