I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
