I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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