she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
