I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
