fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
