What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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