My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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