My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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