she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
