OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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