i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
