I just made out with a guy for $7.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
