where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
