what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize