The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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