You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
