I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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