We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
