I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Congratulations! We have a period
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