So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
