Got a toothbrush?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize