hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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