I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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