Me. At least after what I've been through.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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