FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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