Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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