why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
