so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize