you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
