Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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