I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
