If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
