Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
