We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Randomize
