Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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