WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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