i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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