Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
and she was petting her beer can
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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